Rich Man Poor Man

Yes I am back. Sorry. People never ask me how I manage to combine a high maintenance wife with a new job and still manage to produce this wonderfully entertaining and insightful blog. Easy, now that I am rich I simply employ poor people to write most of it for me.

A quick word of thanks to the team for all their hard work ( in lieu of payment again this month I`m afraid chaps). There is Large "Mad" Ron Kollida, easily the Street`s most outstandingly obese American, disgraced particle physicist Mrs Higgs-Boson and of course not forgetting old whatsisname.

One thing that I have noticed is that my new found wealth slips through my fingers like a football through an England goalkeeper`s gloves. I am now working simply to pay for Frau Nanny McPhee to look after the daughter, Frau Mop to clean the house and of course not forgetting the wife`s new state of the art sunglasses holder/hairdryer, or BMW 328i Convertible as it is more commonly known.

The pittance that is left over I am allowed to put towards surprise presents for the wife and daughter. Any remaining funds are mine to do with as I will, as long as I put them into the savings account to which I have no access.

Life is so unfair. My new high powered Alpha male status is certainly not as I imagined it would be. I had visions of Montecristo cigars, beluga caviar, high class hookers and bull semen hair treatments, but not necessarily all at the same time. Trust me, it`s not like that. Still I musn`t complain, I`m not a Liberal Democrat.