Breaking News: Swine Flu May Have Hit Sunnymountain Street, Possibly.

It is like a particularly sniffy, snotty and thoroughly coughy episode of House here on Sunnymountain Street. Both the wife and daughter are down with suspected flu.

I wish I had paid attention to all the Government infomercials about flu. I have a hazy recollection that there are different types. Bird flu which I suspect only affects women, absolute bloody pig flu, that one has to be men only and of course the dreaded Tamiflu, which has decimated female country and western singers across Mississippi.

Anyway, the upshot is that I am now the main carer for the entire family. I tried to think what my mother used to do when we were sick and needing TLC. So I stuck a postit note to the fridge door saying there were pop tarts in the freezer and popped down the pub for a large G&T or three. Dear old mum, bet she is looking up at us and laughing.

Must dash, the wife needs me