SIT REP DAY 3

Weight Loss: 0.8 kg = total 1.8kg

Weather: Dangerous levels of atmospheric pollution associated with a deep depression moving up from the Azores

Bodily Reaction to Diet: As above.

Mental State: Just dandy and a little delirious

Physical Appearance: Failing eyesight means I can only see shadows in the mirror

Comments received on new skinny me: None


Well day 3 and already major organs are beginning to fail. The old brain seems to be ok though, probably because it has oodles of pristine, never before used, still in the original package capacity to absorb the punishment. I do feel very feeble and I have a strange tingling sensation on my scalp. It could be that I am stressed from lack of food or I have head lice, I just don't know. Just noticed that stressed is desserts spelled backwards. Mmmmm desserts.

I am starting to doubt the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" maxim. I have heard that there are websites devoted to promoting/supporting anorexic lifestyles, so called ProAna sites. Sure its nice to feel good about yourself, so I am told, but how the hell do these hard core bods operate day to day. After just two and a half days my mental faculties and levels of concentration, never Premier League quality to start with, are now operating somewhere in the relegation zone of Vauxhall Conference League.

Far be it from me to criticize so I won't. Anyway, people on these sites can get quite bonkers in the nut fanatical. I don't want to upset any scrawny stick insect psychos and end up on the recieving end of a ProAna Fatwa, or should that be Thinwa? Who knows.

What else happened today. Well, the daughter is off school as they have another teacher training day. That is now 6 days off for teacher training since October! What is going on?. If this carries on we will have super brain box teachers but kids who can hardly tie their own shoe laces at age 13 cos their teachers were never there. Goodness I am grumpy.

Then swimming. The daughter can swim very well now and I am so light I could be mistaken for a pond skater or a very large cork. I hardly broke the meniscus. We did not stay long as the place was packed with pensioners. It is a fact that naked pensioners are not easy on the eye, shed dead skin and have a higher rate of leprosy than the under 44s.

I think I am delirious.