The author at work?

The author at work?

Wednesday 6 January 2010

Ice Age

Very quiet in the compound today. The weather is keeping most of the breast feeders indoors, it`s nipple crackingly cold here. The paths are covered in snow and ice, a real death trap if you wear fashionable winkle pickers I can tell you.

Winter sports have never really been my cup of tea but as the wife is a ski nut I have had to make concessions. To be fair I do quite enjoy skiing now. But ice skating, no. This stems from an incident back in 1978 when I brained myself during Kevin Stevens`birthady bash at the local ice rink. The old bean took quite a pounding that day I can tell you and I lost a considerable amount of computing power, which explains why I am like I am, and the 12 year old me vowed never again.

I would like to apologise to the 12 year old me because I have broken that vow. The wife and daughter and associates decided ice skating would be a good idea. I pointed out that it is bloody dangerous. Do you ever see road signs saying "Icy Conditions Ahead-Enjoy Yourselves". No you don`t. It is lethal stuff and should only be approached with hob nail boots and a bucket of salt.

Would they listen, no. So off we went. All the other adults and kids took to the deadly frozen water like skate wearing ducks. I ventured on, did an impression of a new born giraffe on roller skates, and lunged for the side rail. And that was as far as I got, and will ever get. Unfortunately, the daughter loves it and wants to go all the time, fortunately I have discovered a cafe with sheepskin covered chairs that serves a delicious hot chocolate. I can lounge around, reading the paper and pretending to be a great skater simply resting between pirouettes, and no one is any the wiser. It is my birthday tomorrow and if i get ice skates I am going postal.

Anyway, I have sent off my application to join the local "Stitch 'n' Bitch" group. This is where you sit around sewing, darning, knitting or, I assume, learning practical medical procedures for closing wounds and have a good gossip. Should be fun and save a fortune on socks.

Finally, a big hello to my worldwide readers: Big J and Annie Down Under, Blind Jon on his firm sponsored world jolly and my dear old friend AM from Leipzig who hates receiving this blog. Give me an answer and all will be as before. Cryptic eh

2 comments:

  1. Happy New Year. Hope you are ok. We have had some snow, and whilst I admit it's the most for while Armageddon it ain't. Although I did break my shoulder....
    Despairing of the Labour Party. Just when we had the Tories on the ropes my old mate Buff Hoon sticks his nose in. Theif and now traitor. We have kicked off our campaign here an I have lernt how lazy journos are as if you do a decent press release they will print it un edited.All the best.

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  2. Happy New Year to you too comrade. Whats with the shoulder injury?

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