A Letter to David Cameron

As the UK General Election is fast approaching I thought you would wish to know where the parties stand on issues of import. Below is the letter I have just emailed to David Cameron, Leader of Her Majesty`s Opposition, The Conservative Party. I have adopted the guise of a ignorant,half cut, and politically quizzical London expat. Some may say that is a pretty thin disguise. In the interests of political impartiality for which this site is not noted, there will be follow up letters to the Prime Minister and to the leader of the Liberal Democarts, you know, whats his name. I will of course keep you posted on any response. (See how many names of Tory Front Bench spokespeople you can find, oh fun, a quiz!)


"Dear Dave

I am a retired Londoner living in Switzerland with the wife. We was thinkin of voting for your lot but we are your typical floating voters (I am writing this from me yacht).

Me and the wife is a bit concerned about Europe. Why cant we ahve a referdendum as you promised? The wife thinks you have got yourselfs into a right Eric Pickles over Europe. She says you are perpetrating a massive Francis Maude on the Britsih people. The wife don’t trust you politicians, a Liam Fox on all their houses is what she says. I must admit I am a bit William Hague on where you stand . I can tell you alot of the lads down the yacht club are holding a Greiveance about what they see as being betrayed.

I try and defend you, telling them that you are a good Gove. You were a member of the Bollinger Club I think. Im quite partial to a drop meself, in fact me and the wife are on our third bottle right now. The lads all says they will vote for UKIP becos the Torys are full of merchant bankers and Euro loving Jeremy Hunts (essquse my French),. Idont belive that. I was always bought up to belive the Tory way is the true blue Brutish way, Queen and cuntry ect. And I think you are quite a liberal democrat, you dont appose Theresa Mays in the army for instant.

If you could just reinsure me that you belive you are on the extremely right track then I think I will vote for you Dave..I look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully from Zurich

Mr Ian Welle-Skitt Esq"