Barbie Girl

Today I have been pondering age. I am considered something of a blue sky thinker here on the street. Unfortunately its cloudy most of the time. Well, today is the wife`s birthday. Happy birthday the wife!. She shares her birthday with Barbie (I mean the doll and not the erstwhile head of the Lyon Gestapo 1942-44). Having a bit of time on my hands this morning I decided to learn more about Barbie the doll.

It appears that the older market is now catered for. You can now get a Bifocals Barbie. She comes with large print copies of Home and Garden and The Lady magazines. Then there is Bingowings Barbie and finally Divorced Barbie, who comes with Ken`s house, Ken`s car and Ken`s boat.

Anyway, it is cold and snowy here, so cold it makes your teeth hurt. The drifts are up to knee height. The word on the street is that Missy Biggs, the smallest mother on the street, has not been seen since the snowstorm. We have been asked not to use snow clearing machinery or burn garden rubbish before checking whether Missy is underneath. Or did I just dream that?. I think I may be going snow mad.

However, I know for a fact that I have picked up a repetitive strain injury from cleaning. Nearly three years of being a house serf, buffing,scrubbing and polishing has left its mark. My shoulder is giving me jip and its playing havoc with my googlies. My cricket career may be over before it got started, a bit late I know but I really felt that this season was going to be mine for the taking. How did it come to this and why don`t we have a cleaning lady?. I used to brief packed lunchtime press conferences in Downing Street, I now pack lunches in my briefs on Sunny Mountain Street.I need legal representation.

Anyway, am taking the wife somewhere special for her birthday this evening. I have excavated one of my old suits and shaken the mothballs out. If you stand up wind you can hardly smell anything.

More tomorrow.