Proud As Punch

I was called in to see the daughter's teacher yesterday. I was concerned I can tell you. What had the little one been up to, dealing again, or had that girl died after the conker incident?. But no, to my relief and delight the teacher announced that the daughter is to be moved up a year. Ah, my genes are asserting themselves at last, the girl's a genius.

Just as I was about to leave the teacher said there was one area of concern. Apparently the daughter had been singing an inappropriate song in the playground.

What song I asked?.

"I don't like your girlfriend" she replied.

"Well" I said " that's rather personal and she is much better now I have the cooking sherry safely under lock and key. And she is my wife now. You are no oil painting yourself you know".

"Nein, nein, zat is ze name of ze song, I don't like your girlfriend" she said.

"Oh, you mean Avril Lavigne, the tiny, talented troubadour beloved of Canadians the world over. Well what's the problem?" said I.

"Zer are lines in zer zat are not very good" she said, and proceeded to tell me.

"Well, I have to disagree with you there. Getting something to rhyme with "Hell yeah I'm a mother f*****g Princess" is no mean feat, and little Avril deserves credit for pulling it off with aplomb" I said.

I explained to the teacher that she had only started to listen to this music recently because she was sick of the endless loop of Jeremy Kyle Shows that I have started to watch. All that swearing, violence and the somewhat depressing evidence of the interplay of socio-economic conditions that are contributing inexorably to the undermining and eventual disintegration of the fabric of western society, she gets enough of that in the playground she said. I must admit I don't understand what she says sometimes.

Anyway, I agreed with her teacher that I will monitor future listening (bang goes the "Best of the Sex Pistols" compilation album I was got her for Christmas. Have to give it to the wife now). Bye for now.